If Only I Could Tell Page 9

  “Which is?” Leo interrupted.

  “I want out of this place, not because I think that I am better but because I want better. I want a better life for me and my brother and sister. I am determined to show them that the world is much larger than the part that we live in. Do you understand where I am coming from Leo?” Trisha asked.

  “Yes, and I suppose you are right. So if you could move away from here today, where would you go?”

  Without hesitation Trisha said, “The Cove Condominiums in West Gate.”

  “I like the way that you think, Trisha. Those are upscale; it feels like another world in there.”

  “And how would you know, Leo?”

  “Well, I had a friend who lived there.”

  “A friend, huh? You sure do have a lot of friends, Leo. None of your friends are going to attack me when they see me, eh?”

  “Not if they want to remain a friend of mine.”

  “So what is your story, Leo? Why are you not married with a couple of kids?”

  “Who says that I’m not?” Leo responded.

  Trisha choked on some coffee. She started coughing.

  “What? Are you married with some kids?”

  Leo laughed, “No, I’m not married, but I do have two sons. One is fourteen and the other is two.”

  “Two. Are you and their mom still together?” Trisha asked.

  “No, they have different moms, and no I am not with either of them. We just co-parent. Is that too much for you to handle?” Leo asked.

  “Me? Why would I need to handle anything? We are just having coffee.”

  “True, but you never know.”

  “You are right. I will never know.” She smiled.

  Leo smiled and said, “Never say never, my dear. Anyway, what is your big plan to make college happen, Ms. Trisha?”

  Trisha said, “That I have not figured out yet. I am saving as much as I can, but at this rate, college will be possible when I am forty.” They both laughed. Trisha realized that she could sit across from Leo for hours laughing and talking with him. She did not know what she was so worried about in the first place.

  “Keep believing,” Leo said. “I am sure something will work out. You must have a guardian angel out there somewhere, to repay you for all the good that you do with your family.”

  “Thanks,” Trisha remarked.

  She looked at her watch and said, “Your thirty minutes are just about up. I think it’s time that we head back.”

  “Of course, a promise is a promise.”

  They finished up the last of the food and drinks and headed out the door. Trisha thought to herself, What a lovely first date. I could see this happening again.

  9

  When Trisha arrived home, Mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Trisha said, “Good evening,” and headed straight toward the bedroom. She quickly changed her clothes and came out to see if there was anything for her to assist Mom with. Mom was at the stove so Trisha set the table. Mom said, “I heard that you were hanging out with that no-good man, Leo. I know one thing; you had better not bring any babies into this house. In fact, if you get pregnant, do not even bother to come back. Just pack your things and go.”

  Trisha thought to herself, What is it with Mom and her obsession with men and babies? I am still a virgin and I plan to remain one as long as humanly possible; if only I could tell her that. Why would I even bother? She would probably slap me for talking back. Nope, she will just have to assume that I am some fast and easy girl.

  Trisha kept her eyes low and answered not a word, because Mom had been especially mean to her lately. Mom would come home from work and immediately find fault with something or the other. If Trisha tried to explain, Mom would slap her about the face. Mom would say, “Oh, because you are eighteen now, you think you are a woman, huh? Do you think that you can talk back to me? Huh? There is only one woman in this house and that is me. When you want to be a woman, go and turn your own key.”

  The other day Mom called Trisha to do something, and when Trisha did not move as fast as Mom thought she should have, Mom threw a machete at her. Seriously, a machete! It barely missed Trisha. Mom would attack her with pots and pans, the mop stick, the broomstick, or whatever was closest to her hand. Therefore, Trisha treaded carefully around the house to avoid bodily harm.

  It wasn’t Mom’s fault, Trisha told herself. She must be really stressed out at work, and I heard her and Harry arguing the other night. Mom was accusing Harry of cheating, and he did not deny any wrongdoing. In fact, he told her to leave him. Well, his exact words were “Carry you’re a** then, and see how far you get. Ain’t no man want a woman with a bunch of…well I can’t repeat the rest of that sentence, but you get my drift. Mom was not to blame. Harry was the problem. He was causing Mom unnecessary stress. She does not mean to lash out at me, Trisha thought. She is just stressed. If Harry was not around then their lives would be better. Trisha comforted herself with that thought and prepared for bed.

  That night as she lay awake in bed reviewing her date with Leo. Mom was wrong for calling him a no-good man, she thought. He was a very good listener and very supportive of her dream to go to college. He had a nice car and nice clothes, and he smelled good. How could Mom accuse him of being no good?

  I mean no one could prove that he sold drugs? No one has seen him do it, and he has never been arrested as far as I know. People are just quick to spread rumors when they are jealous. I bet he does not even do that. When I see him again, I will make it a point to find out what it is that he does for sure, and prove Mom wrong. She thinks that every man is no good because Harry is no good. Leo is a good guy and I’ll prove it.

  With that, she went to sleep.

  Trisha was anxious to get to work the next morning because she knew that Leo would stop by to see her. She felt an excitement that she had never felt before, her pulse raced, and she felt a stimulation that she could not explain. All she knew was that she wanted to get to work to see him. She took a little longer getting dressed that morning. Trisha made sure that her clothing was neatly pressed, she took a little more time with her hair, and she even put on a little makeup and some perfume.

  Leo did not disappoint. Shortly after eleven, he stepped into the restaurant and the hostess pointed out Trisha’s station. He helped himself to a seat. Trisha was in the back at the time, but when she came out and saw him, she felt all strange inside. Her stomach tied in knots and she could feel a warm sensation all over her body. She had never experienced that before. She slowly walked over to his table to greet him and he smiled as she approached.

  “Good morning,” he said first.

  “Good morning, and how are you?”

  “I am awesome now that I see you.”

  Trisha blushed. Her heart was racing at this point, and she could not contain herself. She felt tingly all over and thought that she would pass out.

  Abruptly, she said, “Excuse me, please,” and she hurried off to the kitchen and straight over to the water cooler. For some reason she was extremely thirsty. Tony asked her if she was feeling okay and she said, “Yeah, just a bit thirsty.” She composed herself and went back to the table.

  “Is everything okay?” Leo asked. “You look a little faint.”

  “Yep, uh huh, everything is fine. Are you having the usual?” Trisha asked.

  “Umm, not today. I’m in the mood for something fresh, something different if you know what I mean.” Leo said with a wicked grin on his face. “And I don’t mean the grilled cheese.”

  Trisha crossed her legs tightly and fanned herself with the menu.

  “Man, it’s hot,” she remarked. “I think I need some water. Okay, I will put that order in for you if you’ll excuse me.”

  Trisha hurried off to the ladies’ room and washed her face in the sink. The tingly feeling over her body was more pronounced than ever. She was
sweating profusely, and her palms were sticky.

  What’s going on with me today? she wondered.

  She went back to the kitchen and drank some more water, then she stood in front of the fan to try to cool off. Everyone in the kitchen stared at her.

  “What?” she said. “It’s hotter than usual today.”

  The cooks burst into laughter. One of them said, “Girl, you have it bad, don’t you?”

  “Have what?” Trisha asked.

  They laughed some more and shook their heads at her.

  A short time later, Trisha emerged from the kitchen with two eggs over easy, French toast, and half of a pink grapefruit.

  Leo said, “I don’t recall ordering this.”

  Trisha smiled.

  “Well, you had better eat it because that is as close to fresh as you are going to get, mister.”

  “Ouch, yes ma’am.”

  “How did you sleep last night?” Leo asked.

  “Very well, thanks,” Trisha replied. “How about you? How did you sleep?”

  “I was awake most of the night thinking about you, to tell you the truth.”

  “Me? Really? Why is that? We just had coffee and talked. Why would that have you up?”

  “Trisha, you just do not get it, do you? You are an amazing person. I could have sat and talked with you for hours.”

  Trisha did not know how to respond to that. She was not used to anyone complimenting her like that. The strange sensation came on her again, there was a pulsing that she could not explain, and her nipples were swollen and painful. That was also new.

  “If you would excuse me, Leo. I need to check on the other guests and I will be back shortly to check on you.”

  “No problem. I will be right here.”

  Trisha went her way. She quickly checked on the other guests, and then she went to the break room and sat down. Her stomach was in knots, she feet woozy and her head ached a little.

  Am I coming down with a cold or something? Trisha wondered? This is the strangest feeling. I need to talk to Eve about this. She sat there for a few more minutes and then she went back to check on Leo, who was done with breakfast.

  “What are you doing later?” he asked.

  “Nothing planned yet. Why?”

  “Let me take you out for a bite to eat.”

  “I don’t think so. I have to get home after work, and I am not feeling like myself either.”

  “Oh, really? What’s the matter? You did look a little faint earlier.”

  “I am not sure. Maybe another time.”

  Leo smiled.

  “Why are you smiling?” Trisha asked.

  Leo said, “I am smiling because you did not flat out reject my offer. I am wearing you down, Ms. Trisha.”

  Trisha rolled her eyes. She said in her mind, “You are doing something to me alright.”

  “Tell you what. How about I stop by closer to the time you should be getting off, and if you are still not feeling well, I will take you home, and if you are feeling better then I will take you for a bite to eat.”

  Trisha hesitated, but before she could respond, Leo said, “Trisha, you are not a schoolgirl anymore. You do not have to hurry home after work every day. Take a little time for yourself. Besides, I would think that you were looking forward to spending time with me; I know that I am looking forward to spending time with you.”

  Trisha swallowed hard. She thought about it for a moment. She really did not have to be home right away, and she did want to ask Leo about his occupation. She thought, I could probably just drink some tea to settle my stomach, and I really would not mind spending a little more time with him. She started to feel woozy again so she said, “Okay, thirty minutes.”

  “An hour.”

  “Forty-five minutes,” Trisha replied.

  “Deal, I will see you at four o’clock.”

  “Looking forward to it. Now leave so that I can get some work done.”

  “Yes ma’am. You are so bossy.”

  Trisha smiled. “Bye, Leo.”

  “Bye, Ms. Trisha. I miss you already. Four o’clock is so far away.”

  “I am sure that you will find something to occupy your time.”

  Leo placed the money on the check and left. Trisha got a whiff of his cologne as he stepped past her, and she could inhale his scent forever.

  As she turned to go and check her station, Tony was standing behind her with the biggest grin on his face.

  “What is the matter with you?” she asked.

  Tony followed her and said, “Trisha, girl I am so happy for you.”

  “For what, Tony?”

  “You are finally letting your guard down and allowing someone in. You are living a little.

  “I guess so,” Trisha said.

  As promised, Leo was there at four to pick up Trisha. This time he took her to the local ice cream parlor downtown because he remembered that Trisha loved ice cream. Trisha was slowly eating her pistachio nut cone while Leo had a soda.

  Trisha asked, “So what type of work do you do, Leo?”

  “Huh?” He responded.

  “Your job. What do you do for a living?” Trisha repeated.

  Leo cleared his throat. “Oh, well, ah, I’m in the family business.”

  “Oh really? What kind of business is your family in?” Trisha asked.

  “Umm, sales,” Leo said.

  “Oh cool. What type of product does your family sell?”

  “Trisha,” Leo interrupted, “your ice cream is melting. Enough about me for now. We’ll have plenty of time to talk about me. Right now my only focus is you.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I can be a bit nosey sometimes.”

  “That’s okay.”

  “Anyway, by the looks of things, the business is doing well.”

  “We do alright.”

  “So, tell me more about yourself, Ms. Trisha, what are your hopes for the future? Do you want to have a family? Are you the wife type? What is your deal?”

  Trisha looked at him and said, “You know, up until now my life has been one big struggle after another. I really have not given much thought to it, but I believe that if I am able to go to college and graduate, then I could have a career that could afford me the opportunity to leave this place, maybe travel a bit, meet someone, and if things work out, well maybe get married and have a family.”

  “What type of guy is the right guy for you, Trisha?

  “Again, that is something that I have not given a lot of thought to either. My dad died when I was very young and Harry has been a total moron, and a terrible example. You do not even know the half, Leo, but I would imagine that I would like to have someone who is caring, who will take care of his family, a friend that I can talk to honestly, someone who is easy on the eyes, I guess.” Trisha laughed. “Someone with a sense of humor, and someone who is not afraid to allow me to be myself.”

  “Well, it sounds to me like you have a pretty good idea of what it is that you want for yourself.”

  “What about you, Leo? Why haven’t you settled down as yet?”

  “Well, the answer to that is simple. I, like many men my age have done the playboy thing; I have done some traveling, and have dated my share of women. I am not quite ready to settle down and be married, but I can see myself in a steady relationship at this time.”

  “Interesting,” Trisha remarked. “I can appreciate your honesty.”

  “So, do you have someone in mind that you would consider dating?” Leo asked.

  Trisha paused a moment then said, “Not really. I have not dated much since high school.” In reality, she had not dated at all, but she was not about to tell him that.

  “Girl!” Leo said. “What a way to crush a brother’s ego. What am I, chopped liver?”

  They both laugh
ed.

  “No, I was not meaning you. I was speaking in general. I am sure that you would make a great boyfriend for someone, I just do not know if that someone is me.”

  “And why is that, Ms. Trisha?” Leo asked.

  “I don’t know, we are just so different, it seems. I mean, you are a few years older than I am. Not that that’s a problem. I am just out of high school, you are well travelled, and I have never left this neighborhood. You are quite experienced, and me, well, I’m not, so it just seems that it’s not a good fit.”

  “Our differences are exactly why you should consider me, I am older and more experienced so I can guide you and help you along the way, don’t you think?”

  “I guess so, but it is too early for all of that. Let’s see where this goes, okay? No pressure, no commitments, just two people getting to know each other.”

  Leo said, “Fair enough, I can live with that.”

  They finished their snacks and Leo took Trisha for a drive around town. They laughed and talked about all sorts of things. Trisha was beginning to feel quite comfortable with Leo and he seemed to be enjoying her company as well. Trisha thought to herself, I could really get used to being in his company. He is really a very nice person.

  Leo pulled up to Trisha’s gate, and he turned the engine off. He positioned himself against the driver’s door as before and took a good look at Trisha, who was not as uncomfortable with him looking at her this time. She smiled, and said, “Yes, Leo, can I help you?”

  Leo smiled, “You are so beautiful,” he said. “I just love your complexion, your hair, your eyes, your lips, your hairy arms,” Leo chuckled.